Can't sleep. Been thinking this over.
Just received the most shocking news today. A good friend of mine is/may getting divorce. I was shocked. Usually I take these kind of news in stride. But this time, I can't take it out of my mind.
I'm not married. I shouldn't offer advices. But from others experiences and my reads, may I share my thoughts on marriage :
1. Find someone that's going to match your personality and temper. Someone that 'gets' you. Someone that can handle you. Especially for women, someone that guide you in this life towards the hereafter. I think that's why sometimes best friends makes gr8 partner cos they understand you.
2. Following that, accept your partner as they are. Nobody is perfect. Each one of us is never the same. We're all shape by our upbringing, education, emotions, life experiences. No matter how close you are to someone, you never really know them cos you can't read whats on their mind and heart. Only Allah S.W.T truly knows. So accept people as they are. But understand, bad habits and principle personality are two different things. Bad habit can be treated. That wet towel not going to pick itself up, won't it?
3. People said this over and over. And it's true. Marriage is not between just 2 persons. It's between 2 families. You've got to find compatibility between families too. If your family doesn't approve, then what do you do? As in marriage bureau for rich people said: as a husband you have to be fair. Not favoring your wife or your family too much. Help you family accept your wife, make sure your wife know that they're not lonely.
4. In marriage, don't take your partner for granted. Appreciate them. Do small thoughtful favors for them, it doesn't have to be grand. Your partner will want to be appreciated. Women will always love chocolate and flowers(so simple). Remember special dates.
5. Talk. Talk to each other. It lessens the burden that you're holding on when you just share it with someone.
6. And lastly, eventho you've tried your best and it still didn't work, then perhaps separation is the best way. Perhaps our fate as it have been written, our jodoh (what's that in english?) is with someone else.
Reading this, you may assume I'm being presumptious or too negative? But I do believe in the family foundation. I've seen some good examples. Everyone wants stability in their life thru marriage, and you can have that when you have a happy marriage. As my friend's father said: unhappy marriage is a waste of your money, time and your youth.
And happy doesn't just means suka2, gembira2. It means 'bahagia'.