after a lot of thinking

assalamualaikum all,

how're you? hope much better than me. i've been sick for a long time already that i've forgotten how 'healthy' feels. i've taken 1 and a half day of leave. i've been to the in-house clinic three times in a week. i just went to the panel doctor yesterday. i've got loads of medicine and i'm still sick. "Sesungguhnya penyakit itu penghapus dosa". Dan aku mmg byk dosa. so, i'll take it all in. bersabar dan bertahan dan berdoa.

For these few days, i've done nothing than holed myself up in my room, everyday after work. siap suma apa, trus tido. dah beberapa hari aku tido before 12. and these few days i've done a lot of thinking and calculation.

Where am I going from here? What is my goal in life? It's been a full, 1 whole year now since I've started working. All these while, I can go study anytime I want and at anywhere in the world, and come back as a lecturer. However, I know it's not my calling. I do not have enough knowledge in me to teach people. I could never teach when I know that I doesn't know much about the world of computers. How many times I tried to push myself, I just can't imagine myself doing it. But I can imagine like say, Kucai or Raja to do it as they have the knowledge and given time and more learning, they'll be more than capable to handle lectures.
My true passion is not in this line of work.

I've done a lot of thinking, read a lot of inspirational word (which I'll share with you all later), and I've been having a lot of signs and hints, and I'm taking the first step toward a new, better me. I'm moving out. I'm moving out of this memorable unit, and leave my housemates(which I haven't told them as i'm without voice right now). I'm moving. It's a decision that I've been considering for a while, but only recently made the decision. Hopefully it's a good decision and all party will support my decision.

That's all for today. Need to sleep. Headache the size of an elephant. Ohaiyo.